giving away a car.

Ok first of all, again I am so grateful for everything man. I feel like I am exaggerating much but I've developed this sense of gratefulness, for everything that I have and everyone I know. Thank you godji and universe for everything that has happened so far. 

Btw, I have decided to give away the car that I had to this lady I know. She works at a gas station, her son is in jail and she wanted to have my old car (which was broken and needed some fixing) and I gave it to her. We had a deal that she'd pay me some money but I have decided that I am just gonna give it away to her. She is pretty old, and I am comparatively young also I feel like I earn way more than I deserve. Now, don't think I am like a millionaire, or something but I am broke myself too. I'll update when you when my total balance is in the positive numbers lol. But still, I feel like she works hard and that amount would mean more to her than me, and I can always earn more. I don't have to do a lot of physical work to get money. So, you know.. it all evens out.

I remember a kinda few months back when I was kinda struggling with money. I used to work with her, like $10 would used to feel like all the exhaustion and work that I had to do for an hour. $80 used to feel equivalent to standing up for more than 8 hours, listening to customers complain and bunch of that stuff that comes with it. I was working non stop 7 days a week for more than 1.5 years. It feels nothing at the moment, but it was difficult. The day I felt like I could now finally stop working there was the best day. Again, not that I suddenly started earning a lot more, but just that I knew with the money and credit I had, I could sustain myself for few months until I get a job after graduation. And now I am getting paid more than twice that I used to by doing half as much work that what I did before. I don't feel exhausted, I can focus more, I can just work from my house. And that is something that I will never take for granted. So, I guess the whole thing is that I love that it's going to someone who is working hard and I have been in those shoes, so I understand how much it'd mean to her. 

Also because now I can finally say that I gave away a car to someone. Now, did the car run? Umm.. that's questionable but... with some fixing it certainly did. But we don't have to get into details...pfffhh... It's just sounds cool to say I gave away a car and I freaking love it. It's purely selfish. Honestly! I crossed a bucket list item. 

Anyways, I also love that I am in the mental and financial state to do that. I also have this interview with Microsoft in few days. And I swear to god, if I get it I will donate any extra income that I earn for the first year to someone in need. Yk.. I could have bought tesla with that, but ... nah.. I will probably put that fund in Nepal and do something good. I'll invest some in business focused around societal well being, and give the other to charities or maybe start my own.. idk.. haven't really thought about the details... I really want this job and I guess I am just visualizing how it'd feel to be in a position where I can help others. That'd be the coolest fucking part.

The whole logic is, one of the engineers at Microsoft referred me, I didn't know him but he decided to go out of his way to arrange all this interviews. It might have been my resume which was good but it's still an act of kindness and selfishness that he did that. And if I were in my current company I would earn probably half of what I would earn at Microsoft. So, that difference (which wouldn't have been possible without his support) I want to pass it on. I really hope I do well in this interview. I haven't been prepared a lot and there's a lot to study. 

I probably won't make it , given how competitive it is to get a job at these tech giants. I also have not been in the right state of mind for the past weeks, and haven't got a lot of studying done. But, nevertheless, I just feel so good that this stranger took a time out of his life to do all this for me. I probably will fail, but I will still remember this thing that he did for me. I also really like what is team is doing and this would be an ideal position for me to start my careers. So, I pray to god, the mightiest of all to help me through this. I really hope I get this. 

(Also, could you please keep all of these things between us. Like if you read this don't tell anyone about it. Especially I'm talking to my brother or sister. )

- Until Next Time, 

- Handsome Charming Man.