Moving on

There is a common misconception that you need to move on once you break up. But, I am here to say "No you don't". You don't need to move on. It's not mandatory. It may be bad for your mental health, you may spend hours staring at the ceiling thinking about them, your fingers may get tired stalking them over the internet, who knows you may sneak into their room once or twice to remind yourself of how they used to smell. People go to the extent of kidnapping other's wife and we all know what caused the death of Rawana (Ramayana) or the Trojan war. At least, you will not be responsible for anything like that. What you have ... is a healthy obsession. The only person who'll get hurt out of this is YOU.

If you ask me, I decided to move on. I know it's hard for me to find someone like her after I have been emotionally attached to her for so long. How can things end so quickly? Where did all the dreams we had suddenly disappear? What about all those things we planned? The Marriage, Honeymoon, what about those 3 kids we were planning to have? Poor (un-named), Elsa, and (un-named). Sorry guys, I tried my best. It was your mom who said I could only choose one of your names, and she was the one who decided to end things. I respect her decision because I love her and I only want what is best for her. Right now, she wants me out of her life. That is what I am going to do.

Now, guys, you can move on in two ways. Stop talking to her, if you have access to any of her social media accounts, or have kept any of her belongings, dump them. Get rid of all of her stuff, and move on. Go hit the bars, pick up girls. Enjoy your life. Move on. This way, you actually move on. You'll eventually forget her and be happy.

But, if you move on so easily, did you really love her? You managed to erase all those feelings the moment she asked you to. I don't trust you. Don't you see how special she is? Do you want to replace her memories with someone else? Do you really want to be happy at the cost of forgetting her? Remember you liked her, you were ready to kill/die for her. A simple rejection should not change that.

It takes a lot of time to know someone. It feels like I had known her all my life. To be honest, I didn't want to waste a few years of my life to meet someone new, talk to them, go on a date, and through this whole process once again. I've been hurt in the past so I cannot trust people so easily. So, I didn't want things to go this way- Beck. Nobody understood you better than me. You should've let me help you, you should've let me be there for you. It's my fault that I couldn't convince you. I should've been more polite and calm. I should've tried to listen to you. But you didn't even talk to me. You ignored me. I had to know what was going on. Your mindless dating of boys was not going to solve the problem—Beck, for god's sake, he was the fifth guy you dated after we broke up. You were not in your right mind. If I would've let you do what you want, it would only make you suffer and I couldn't bear to watch that. I tried to help you, make you love me but you pushed me away. How could've I made you realize that I was the one you were in love with?

You were the last person I wanted to hurt. So, I helped you find peace. You are safe now, Beck. You don’t need to worry about anything. You even look happy. This was the only way I could put you out of misery. I know there is no going back now. I wanted you to forgive me for doing this but I cannot ask for it anymore. So that will always be there, the lack of forgiveness, that would keep on haunting me. I will be the one who will suffer - Beck and I would do that for you again if I have to. Would you?