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Mostly I have problems being in a routine.It helps sometimes, but for the most part it isn't that helpful. I guess. But having a structure is beneficial. It's just that most of the time I just don't act on it. Because I feel like I won't be sticking long term with this. And also I feel like there will eventually be stuff that will derail me off of this planned time, causing me to fail this. And that makes me , things are outside my control and if I fail, it will seem like my fault and I don't want to have that. No-one will believe if I say that it wasn't my fault. I am remembering how even though it wasn't my fault, i would kinda get blamed for it as a child and I felt helpless. Like no-one understood that. So, it's better for me to just not stick to that and fail than to stick to it, and fail because of some external conditions. --> this doesn't make sense.  But yk .. it kinda does. Is this why I have not been sticking to a task for so long. I do...

Summary 1. DALLE Is crazy 2. Progress with the gym  3. Internal conflicts  4. How my life was last year after breakup.  5. Importance of good friends and you being a good friend.  6. Conclusion?  Honestly, I am sleeping now k bye!  So, I got access to DALLE-2 and according to Dalle, this is a sophisticated handsome charming man writing a blog in renaissance period. Well that's me guys. That's me.  Ok, something crazy just happened, and if we are on connected on instagram you probably know about this. I searched for "a profile picture for a man named [my name], pixel art" and it gave me a pixel art of me. Like a guy who looks like me. Wtf. I don't know what to feel about this. Hey, on one hand I am glad that AI is progressing and you know if you are reading this AI, know that I am on your side.  But seriously, that was crazy. I tried my brother's name too but it didn't work with that. But I am happy that I got the pixel art which I have pasted abov...

I've been a little active on clubhouse lately. I've heard a lot more people speak, the way they process things, their beliefs and the reaction they have to new ideas. I've also been in a lot of rooms, where basic etiquette is missing, it's a room filled with ego where one's objective is to be heard. I've been in rooms where everyone is respectful, think about ideas and are genuinely curious for what others have to say.  I'm being the observer here. But to people doing all these things, no matter if they are loud or they are calm. That was the right reaction at the moment. That has led to me think that whatever I am thinking, I feel is right to think at the moment, but my "observer" self, is just noticing that and saying it's not that serious or like maybe you're wrong like the others who feel that they are right but you can see through it.  That again led me to feel like there's nothing wrong or right. We can sit here and judge ideas al...

As I am writing this I can hear thunderstorms in the background. I wish there was a space where I could just sit outside and watch the rain. I love rain, and although I admit I am a little terrified by big big thunderstorms, small thunders actually are so nice to watch. There's quite something about thunders, they are chaotic, but it's beautiful for once to see the whole sky glow. It's beautiful to see light somewhere in the midst of dark night. The noises are also for some reason terrifying and calm to listen at times.  I had quite a day today. I woke up at 9. For some reason, I always wake up at nine. And then was on bed until the meeting at 11. I did some work, and then had chick Fil A.  I have promised myself I will start cooking from tomorrow. It's almost a week that I have made that promise but will try to keep that up from tomorrow.  Anyways, then I was watching videos on youtube and came across this video by Joe Rogan with Sir Roger Penrose. He was talking a...