Daily Daily - Good Things.

 Ok, if you've been reading the past few posts, I know I have complained a lot. See, the thing is it might sound like I complain a lot, but this blog is for me to rant when I am not feeling good. If you see the times of year I posted, you can clearly see I made no posts during the time I was in relationship with my ex. I was happy. There was no need for these blogs. 

But, I'm back haha uninvited guests. I love this place. Man, I love blogger so much. And thank you google for making this free and again my nerd friends for making this. Love you beautiful human beings!

Anyways I felt like I had been just flooding this place with just me feeling bad all the time. I feel quite good and productive today. I worked for 5 hours straight today. Which is something I am proud about. I know it's not lot but stuck with it. And as soon as I finish writing this blog, I will work for 4 hours more. 

I am also eating healthy, I meant I ate healthy today lol. Which is again nice. The feelings are still there but now I need to stick with a routine. I have pretty much made a skincare routine which I might share with y'all if you want to read, and now need to have a consistent workout. 

Also, I have found that I love dancing. Man, just put the headphones on, play some Bollywood music and fucking dance. If you haven't tried it, please do. It's so much fun. Also, I found about camping videos on youtube which I absolutely love watching. It's so calm and peaceful. Once I move to Florida and can work remotely properly, I probably will go camping often. 

I have also found that I absolutely love myself. Not in a narcissistic way. I feel loved. I don't know if I am the one "loving" or being "loved" but I have felt few instances of those where my heart just fills up with joy. It's a nice feeling. 

Now that I am focusing on the positives, I can find many of them I think. Walter, the cat that my friend has, has finally become closer to me. Closer in the sense that he doesn't run away at the sight of seeing me. I mean he still does sometimes, but he also sometimes brushes his head in my hands, which is just so cute. He's a white cat and has a lot of fur. He's a little old now, but I think looks like this. 

I love cats. Also, I love having tea towards the evening. I usually am accompanied by Benji (who is a dog that my friend has). He's also old. He loves barking at the other dogs from the fence. I think Benji's routine is just to wake up, go outside and bark at other dogs, come inside, lay down, bark, bark to be pet, and sleep. 

I love him too. We sometimes are outside towards the evening. I prepare myself either a hot cup of tea or hot lemon, water and honey. The weather at that time is usually a little cold, so I wrap a blanket around myself and sit on the couch on patio and just either listen to Osho or watch the trees. It's beautiful, just being there. But I still remember her sometimes, how cool would it be to just be wrapped up in the same blankets and sit outside having a warm cup of tea. Sorry haha, it's just thoughts, they come and go. It's nevertheless beautiful. But I am moving on guys, (Sorry my sister hates if I am writing about her. Please don't hate her. She's a nice person. It's just things didn't work out). 

Anyways, yeah life's a mix of happiness and other stuff. I am trying to not chase either of them. Just be and exist and do things that I am interested in. Without the hope of anything. It's difficult, very often I worry about things, but I try to pull myself right back. I am trying not to take myself too seriously. I am just this software running in my body? (heard this idea from Joscha Bach) and I can feel it, and that helps me find peace. 

I am also trying to trust people again. I am trying to make sense of things. I probably am far ahead of understanding things completely, but it's ok even if I don't. I will try not to bitch about things too much. But, I don't think I am bitching. Please don't take these things as bitching. Most of what I write is just talking to myself, or trying to understand things. It's just these fucking neural connections firing at certain times. 

Yeah guys! that was it. Thanks for reading today's episode of me. I think I should write daily. I think I will. 

- Until Next time. 

Handsome charming man.