Let's talk

 Here we go! Coming soon  A bit sad given the current circumstances but it is what it is.  Miss pookiee 

A simple touch - so profound I wished you knew the peace I found.

 I applied for our role in Canada today. Comes with a hefty tax of 45% and pay down by 30%. That’s one thing but also comes with a bit of freedom to travel outside. Not feel like I’m trapped in a country or something. So well worth it id say if I had to move.  This is a weird state to be in when I have my visa expired and on OPT. If I get H1B this year that’d be the best state for me to be in.  Also random though when someone holds your hands like tight expressing that they feel safe with you it’s whole another feeling haven’t felt that yet. Will never forget that.  Anyways that’s it for recent development. Also in path of getting promoted so I’m having to collect docs and do forth. Timelines for products are getting a bit tight. There’s some fun in that as well. I just want I have slow days that I spend with someone I like under the sun k park ma or whatever. 

The main objective of this post is to check these new keyboards from Lofree that i got. Love them! It sounds very creamy, that I want to just yk savor the sound.  The backspace key in particular sounds very nice and also its fun to type.  These days have been pretty chill, changed my decision again I might very well need to move to Canada. Not my first choice but better than staying here and studing + working at the same time. Mostly because I want to travel back home as well. And yk for the aspect of certainity in life as well. If I go to Canada at least I'll have my PR process started there and by the time I come back to US I will have something to fall back on.  Still have one more shot so hope I get that. I don't really ask god that much very few things, last year I wasn't that serious but when things are starting to get real you realize the importance of things. Already starting to miss Seattle a little. I am very very hopeful and feel like I will get it but yk have ...

 I am on-call on a new team that I joined this week. I just finished learning in a bit detail about their inputs / output sources and architecture in general. This week has been interesting. We got a COE (correction of errors) for a bad change that led to congestion in the network. I spent a bit of time diving into it, the change wasn’t that big, just splitting a job into small batches. But that led to 2 dataset within the same scope being produced at 2 different times, and there was a validation logic which filtered datasets by dates. This led to us doing the wrong thing. Who could have thought when pushing this change (not my change btw) that it’d have this side effect. We didn’t catch this via any test.  Now we had a holiday this week, so I am not sure if I was a bit lazy (i wasn’t) or there’s not enough time for on calls to handle other things. I haven’t been able to and even though I am not working, in the back of my mind, I know there’s work to be done and it would be be...

Just found this in my notes - thought I’d share.  One emotion seeks another to be 0. Let me explain.  Anger seeks apology / justice. If it never gets that it continues growing.  One emotion that helps all other emotions is acceptance, or forgiveness - both of which are very difficult.

 Most of what I write, including this one is unstructured feelings. I’ve never spent more than a couple of seconds thinking what I will be writing next. That brings its own set of pros and cons. Now, I am not going to bore you with SWOT analysis here, but one of the cons I think is that I have yet to form a cohesive writing. (Btw arsenal won today 5-2 super happy)  There is some beauty of a good piece of article, everything is balanced. The words are in perfect harmony with one another. Each building up space and story for the next. Like these words were made for each other. One’s position fits perfectly in the sentence, and as a part of the paragraph - further article. I don’t read a lot of books so I find it difficult to give writings justice. I should try to read more.  I like the idea that one should be good at 3 things. Reading, Writing and Speaking. Each of which helps you in any area of your life. I am trying to focus on the second one. Writing. I read few of my pr...

Waking up in the morning is fucking awesome. Just woke up at 5 and I feel like I’ve already completed day worth of work. It’s not even 9. Let this be a reminder to wake up early. 

From Blogging to AI and the Intricacies of Modern Relationships The Evolution of Personal Expression It's fascinating to reflect on how our modes of personal expression have evolved. There was a time when I'd regularly open my personal laptop, eagerly typing away on my blog. Now, the thought of accessing Blogger on my work device feels almost taboo. Yet, the urge to share persists. I've been blogging since childhood, a realization that never fails to amaze me. It's a testament to the enduring human need to document, to share, to leave a mark. In an interesting twist of technological progress, I now have a trained ChatGPT model that's becoming increasingly adept at mimicking my voice. To enhance its performance, I find myself doing regular "brain dumps" – a peculiar exercise in self-reflection and AI feeding. Why do I do this? Perhaps it's a uniquely human desire to see our thoughts externalized, to have a digital doppelganger of sorts. Or maybe it'...

 Holy fukcing shit, can’t even spell fucking correctly.  I might take tomorrow off, and reflect on a few things. For now it’s 1:20 am. Need to go to bed and sleep.  Goodnight. 

 A lot of people would die to be in your shoes, make the most of what you have. This realization has been hitting me hard recently. I will do more with what I have. I must right. This is just about anything good health mostly, ability to learn, talk speak, influence for good right, for others.  There's always this idea about what is good, who defines good and what good are we striving for, so thinking about that becomes a bit complex, but start small we'll figure it out along the way. Good health for instance is always nice, for me and others around me. Learning is always good, empathy is good I think these are things we can agree on. So, yk just figured that out lol while writing. See it helps. talk to yoyurself or write to yourself .  Ultimately, I believe it comes down to carefully examining our own conscience, staying intellectually humble and open to dialogue with others, and then acting with compassion and good intentions as best we understand them. We may never ach...

 I believe that we all are the same to some extend. Think I have a good way of putting this out so we all can understand. What are we excepts our thoughts? Nothing right. All actions are guided by our thoughts. You can have this exact same thought yourself. Say you think “I need to work out more”. Vs If I tell you “you should work out more”. Might feel like I am saying that you. Butttt what if you had this same thought yourself. Not different right? It’s just another entity telling you that. The core thought is the same, its just you put this image of me in it.  All our thoughts are guided by certain things that we believe in . If we change that, you will have different thoughts and way you think about it. But, its not that different right? Does that make sense? I think it does. Same thought, if you were thinking about it yourself, it becomes part of yourself. We are used to separate things and the origin of the thoughts.. Making it you vs me. Separate entities. But at core, t...

Took some time to figure out my guiding principles. As I am in the corporate world more, I have understood the benefits of these. If we don't have a clear way to think about things, and how we take decision, it becomes a little difficult. Just putting them here so I have them in the future, and also just they are here.  Pursuit of Mastery: Commit to lifelong learning and continuous improvement. Strive for mastery in your personal and professional life by setting high standards and seeking feedback. Ownership and Accountability: Take full responsibility for your actions and their outcomes. Embrace challenges as opportunities to grow and learn, and hold yourself accountable for meeting your commitments. Confident Autonomy: Trust in your abilities and judgment. Make decisions with confidence and conviction, while being open to new ideas and feedback. Assertive Communication: Express your thoughts, beliefs, and needs clearly and respectfully. Encourage open dialogue and ensure your...

  Rewatching 500 days of summer. I love this movie man. Can't recommend this enough to people. This movie, the plot , the scenes, the way that the guy thinks about love, it hits so close to home.  Just finished watching it again. Anyways, it's been a good day so far. It's almost 4 now. We are planning to have kheer today, which I am excited about. It's a little hot today, and I am sweating. I still have my morning coffee besides me lol. I have been learning to make latte art and today, I did manage to make the froth a bit better. You know ,the art is completely dependent on how to stem your milk, if it has too many bubbles then, its not that good. You want it exactly right where there's no too much froth and no bubbles.  I don't like drinking too much coffee, but I love making coffee. So, I am planning to practice making coffee by making them for my brother and sisters. If only I could wake up early man. Not if only, but will try to wake up early. It's like ...

  I don't know what to say this. But wait. Why is it that you feel so whole when you know there's someone loving you, and why is it so hard to find that sense of wholeness by just yourself.

Mostly I have problems being in a routine.It helps sometimes, but for the most part it isn't that helpful. I guess. But having a structure is beneficial. It's just that most of the time I just don't act on it. Because I feel like I won't be sticking long term with this. And also I feel like there will eventually be stuff that will derail me off of this planned time, causing me to fail this. And that makes me , things are outside my control and if I fail, it will seem like my fault and I don't want to have that. No-one will believe if I say that it wasn't my fault. I am remembering how even though it wasn't my fault, i would kinda get blamed for it as a child and I felt helpless. Like no-one understood that. So, it's better for me to just not stick to that and fail than to stick to it, and fail because of some external conditions. --> this doesn't make sense.  But yk .. it kinda does. Is this why I have not been sticking to a task for so long. I do...

Turns out I had this as draft. But why? Let's publish incomplete work / writings. Who cares?  Ok I love this girl. I had not thought about the Baudrillard's simulacrum and simulacra in this context, but now that I think about it, everything now is hyper-realized, with just not love but every aspect of our lives.  Also I added this video to the playlist that I think everyone should watch. Not just for "love" but for relationship in general which includes, family, friends, and basically understanding others. We often act like we know how to handle these stuff or just "love" but it is also a skill, i believe. we should learn how to love and maintain relationships.  This reminds of the videos of the school of life and Alain de bottom (who is the guy in the video below). I think everyone needs to watch this. at least once?  Full playlist: Relationship and Stuff Your very own,  Handsome Charming Man. 

This has to be one of the best movie ever. Just finished watching the movie balling my eyes. The final scene where he has to choose and says the last goodbye to his father. I wish I never have to do that. But I have to , my kids will have to. It's the nature of life. I get it.  Whatever it is that I am feeling, realizing, observing, so thankful for all of that. It's an experience. Utimilately, all of this. Just one big experience for all of us. So, best not to think of anything too much, just experience whatever it is.  I am doing well. I am sad a little because of our teammates is leaving the job. I cried last night after I heard that. He was one of the best people on the team. I loved him!! Hope one day I become as smart and as helpful as he was. Praying everything goes well at the startup he's trying to pursue. I am fucking crying as I write this. Will miss you at work man! It's sad never thought I would be this sad over a co-worker leaving a team who I didn't ev...

 I had not used my personal laptop in about a week. Turns out I had just left it open and now when I am using it it's at 3 percent lol. Also, it's really cold out here.  It's been about 3 weeks (if you count this week) that I am at my new job. I love it so far. Love the team and everyone in it.  I think I might be putting too much pressure on myself to understand each and everything thing on the system. It's complex, ngl. But I don't think it's too complex that it'll take me a while to understand the basics of how our product works. I do have a basic understanding. Now I just need to go in a layer deeper, and keep doing that until I get the system.  Personal life has been great as well. So, motu finally got married today and couldn't be more happy for her. I texted her. Bro, I get really confused about these things. In my mind it makes sense, but idk people say you shouldn't text or whatever. In my mind, she's still my friend and it'll not ch...

  Summary:  1. I am moving to Seattle.  2. Goodbyes are hard.  Reality is starting to kick in. I am moving to Seattle tomorrow. I finished packing majority of my items. I have a cup of tea besides me. We have a storm over here, so its raining outside. This is the kind of weather that will be with me for the upcoming months now.  I feel a little heavy on my heart. I am leaving tomorrow. While it’s exciting - the move - but I feel a little sad and anxious at the same time. Those may not be the exact words to describe how I feel but you yeah feels like saying goodbye to someone you love. I won’t be able to be here after this. Although we have already planned a trip to Colorado during the Christmas, and I know I will be seeing PJ dai and Ashlee dd and other friends here. Yk I am starting to miss this place already.  I have found a few other friends there but yk.. unless you go there. Also, I don’t know what to expect on the job. I luckily found the one of the m...

 Almost a year and 3 months into making this happen... We did it!  Last year I promised myself I would do this, and I did it! Feels good. I sound like  a 3 year old.   I used to watch day in a life videos of SWE at big tech and I get to kinda live that now? I am not happy because of this job per-say. It's just I feel safe knowing that I don't have to worry about money now. Once I get my sign-in bonus I will be debt free and will start having positive bank balance in 4 years. I will need to move to Seattle soon. My job starts from November 14. I have found a few friends at amazon too. Like 2, and I have a 2 more friends that I know there. It should be good. I will also get a golden retriever once I get there. Amazon has open dog policy, meaning I can take my friend there. Also, I need to think of names for the dog now. Whenever I think of names, mochi comes to my mind. I miss mochi. She is my friend's dog.  I am also excited to work with distributed computin...

If you know me, you know that I am a Tesla fanboy.. andddd I drove Tesla for the first time today. I need to renew my license so I didn’t take it to the main road but just drove it around the block. It felt a little different. You don’t really need to use brakes that often, if you stop accelerating, it’s like hitting a break because it’ll come to stop. Also, just the gears are also a little different. Turning, left and right also is so easy. I can just look at the dashboard. So, that’s one step closer to checking off my bucket list of owing a Tesla. We are getting there guys. In a year or two I will own one too!!! Also, I am typing from my iPad right now. Honestly, the onscreen keyboard is good. I am typing like I would on my keyboard and the autocorrect and the keyboard just works well.  Anyways, it’s been about a week now that I have been in Ohio. Loved the suburban living here. My brother has a small kid and a 5 year old. I just read her a bedtime story and I couldn’t be more ha...

Ok, so I’m in Ohio now.  I’ve been hanging out with a lot of married people these days. You know you’ve started to become an adult when the parties end at 8:00 because the kids have school tomorrow morning and you have work to wake up to.  Usually, we used to start partying at 8, and here we end partying at 8:00.  I’ve noticed that a lot of married couple are tired of each other?! Like why are they not at the party with each other. Usually there’s a gang of ladies and then of guys each of them wishing that they had more time to themselves and complain about each other. They call you lucky that you don’t have kids and stuff like that yk.  So, here’s a quick promises to myself. If I get married. Honestly, I don’t think I will be in a relationship ever again for a long time. But let’s say magically.. I find miss perfect and let’s say I get married.  1. I will never ever ever ever not make time for my significant other.  2. There won’t be a single day I forget ...

Hola como estas amigos!! You know I wanted to flex my spanish by trying to write its been a while, but no I don't know how to write it.  Anyways, I have 122 days of streak on Duo-lingo, which is by far the most amount of streaks I have had doing anything. I love how inconsistent I am.  I am still waiting to hear back from amazon. You know they do this prime delivery in 2 days, now I know why. All their resources are focused on it. What should have taken them 5 days is taking them almost 20 days now. Guys come on! At least tell me if I am moving to Seattle / Boston or staying in Florida.  No matter what news I get from Amazon, there will be one good news and one bad.  If Accepted.  Good news: I got accepted.  Bad news: I have to leave Florida.  If not accepted.  Good news: I can stay here in Florida.  Bad news: I didn't get accepted.  I love it here in Florida. Staying here with Ashlee dd and PJ Dai and few other friends gives me a feelin...

  Ok I just wanted to write a cool blog title so this.  This is the best way to describe my feelings at the moment. Up until I get the email from Amazon,  I can be both accepted and rejected. So, the title was born. I love this song that I am listening to  . It captures the reality of losing someone who you knew for a long time in such a good way. I love it because it's not like sad kinda song. It's different and I love it.  I am having a cup of tea as I am working, just took a quick break. I solved a problem which was causing an issue, and it was because we forgot to update something after changing it. It's been like that for weeks now, which is why I say we should always write tests. It was running fine and caused this bug now weeks after. I love the debugging process though.  You can actually see rain fall on the leaves and its nice.. just to listen to the music and have my cup of tea that ashlee dd made in the morning lol. Ok anyways still waiting for t...

  So, just finished modding my keyboard and it sounds good. I don't exactly remember what it sounded like before and how well it sounds after mod. But, it sounds good. I wasn't able to lube the switches but I added a foam and tape behind the PCB. I also got my keyboard rest pad.. this should help with making it easier to type on the keyboard for a long time.  Also I found these new indie singers and have been listening to them for the past few days. One of them is the song of the day which I am currently listening to. I am having slight headache at the moment. Today was a little rough. I haven't been drinking a lot of water .. in the trip as well as in general so I need to do that. The whole day I was expecting to see an email from amazon but still haven't heard back yet. I should hear back by the end of the week. Even though there is just a small chance of me getting hired, it still creates this anxiety.  Today's apple launch was also nice. I have been watching thi...

Summary. 1. Visit to Niagara Falls.  2. Details about Amazon Interview.  3. Visit to Boston. Harvard and MIT.  4. NYC.  Suffocating. That's the word that came to my mind when I think of NYC now. And by NYC I mean that core place in NY.  I loved the vibe and the people and everything else, but that place just needs a little bit of breathing space. I loved Boston though. If I do get a job in Amazon, I might just move there. That being said the interview went better than I expected. I am supposed to hear back within a week so that suspense is just eating me alive lol.  I just ordered chipotle it should be coming soon in 30 minutes. You know if you do well in an interview and it seems like you actually might have a chance to work at a company that you love, the waiting period is even more slow. One thing that I have learned over the years is patience, so I am just practicing that. That reminds me of this quote "Slow is the fastest way to achieve your dreams" or...

 Summary.  1. I love mechanical keyboards 2. Amazon interview tomorrow.  3. Travelling to NYC tomorrow. 4. VR is crazy. 5. Actions vs Being.  It's been a while. I am typing on my new keychron k2 v2 keyboard. Lately, I've fallen in mechanical keyboard rabbit hole. If you see my youtube recommendations, you'll see most of them are keyboard related. I tell you, it's a whole new world. I never thought keyboards could be that expensive. I was actually looking to buy iqunix keyboard which looks really cool. But I settled for Keychron. It's a little cheaper than that, and with mods, it actually sounds really good. I am now excited about modding this current keyboard that I have. TBH, it sounds really good without the mods, but I want it to sound thocccky.  Also, because some of the key layouts are different from my apple magic keyboard that I am used to. It's a little different. Oh man, do I love mechanical keyboards now. They just sound perfect.  Anyways other th...

1. I am not feeling well at all.  2. Again, not feeling so well.  3. Banter.  I’ve been having 101 degrees fever for the past 2 days. Basically, I’ve been a couch potato sneezing in bed all day. But I still look as handsome as I did previously lol, and charming too. The fever can’t take that away from me.  Anyways my eyes hurt really bad. And I am coughing like a old man. Today is Monday, yesterday I was in bed all day. I am a little sad that I am sick lol not that sad sad but I should be preparing for my interview which is at the beginning of September and here I can barely open my eyes and look into the screen. I am peeping through my eyes as I type this.  Also I did the Covid test at home thing. Felt like doing a pregnancy test lol. It was fun but I didn’t like that I had to put the swab so deep inside the nostrils.  The only thing that’s on my mind right now is to get better lol. My head is like a hot oven, I bet if I put some raw dough inside my mouth,...

Summary.  1. Ashlee dd's birthday.  2. A little busy. 3. Amazon results.  4. World is what you make of it.  Ok guys, just had chipotle after such a long time. It feels like eternity. Honestly.  I am still listening to those songs. I love the music and the vibes, not the lyrics lol. Can't relate with any of those at the moment.  Oh and the birthday surprise went really good. The timing was perfect and we made this stranger things portal which looked really cool. The quest also had a kinda good ending. There was Vecna, Voldemort and everyone lol. I haven't gotten time to edit them and put it all together. I've been busy lately, in a good way. And by busy it's not just work but everything, even relaxing I consider it my time. I need some time for me and spending time with dd and dai. So, that time is blocked off as if I was busy. Work is not the only thing that you should block time off for. I also made this upside down world in the VR and programmed a quest w...

 Summary: 1. Listening to new types of songs.  2. Little updates on recent life events.      - Started taking swimming lessons.     - Diving deep into the spring.      - Watched laal singh chadda.  Ok, man I just randomly somehow went onto this side of youtube music and all the music that's been playing so far are kinda songs for girls? boys will be boys is the one that's playing right now. lol. How come I've never head of this kind of music? the lyrics are not that good tbh but the music and the beats and the way emlyn is singing this songs hits a little different. The song that was playing before this was Moral of the story by Ashe, and Joke's on you was also nice haha. I realized it been almost more than an hour. I was just coding. It's almost 2 am now. I am not sleeping until I finish this.  Also, I realize I haven't really posted anything in a while. Btw, I officially stopped being a vegan, and now am on a veg diet. It's l...

 Ok, just wanted to leave this note here. I am so happy. No reason. I mean there is one, but it's just because I love seeing people happy? You know. It's awesome. Love it.  I don't know man. I'm feeling really good and kinda proud and also inspired?  Your very own, Handsome Charming Man.

  Alright bois and girls. So, Ashlee dd's birthday is in august and since august 1 we have setup a little quest for her. If you are connected with me on IG, I bet you've already seen it. I love it honestly. I love doing these sort of things. Like helping make people's life a little more magical? There's whole another world just waiting to unravel, you just have to imagine it. It's awesome.  So, today was day 4th and we did a stranger things themed quest. You'll see it when the video comes tomorrow. Honestly, this was the best one I had thought and PJ dai came up with the hint which was perfect for the scenario. And I also added a little twist at the end.  Now, I have to think about what's for tomorrow lol. We honestly are just thinking it day by day. But now we also want to make it a little more intentional about how the story develops.  So my friend which we have chosen to address by Ms. R, sent me this "meme?" which says Mr. talks about how he is...

Summary 1. DALLE Is crazy 2. Progress with the gym  3. Internal conflicts  4. How my life was last year after breakup.  5. Importance of good friends and you being a good friend.  6. Conclusion?  Honestly, I am sleeping now k bye!  So, I got access to DALLE-2 and according to Dalle, this is a sophisticated handsome charming man writing a blog in renaissance period. Well that's me guys. That's me.  Ok, something crazy just happened, and if we are on connected on instagram you probably know about this. I searched for "a profile picture for a man named [my name], pixel art" and it gave me a pixel art of me. Like a guy who looks like me. Wtf. I don't know what to feel about this. Hey, on one hand I am glad that AI is progressing and you know if you are reading this AI, know that I am on your side.  But seriously, that was crazy. I tried my brother's name too but it didn't work with that. But I am happy that I got the pixel art which I have pasted abov...

Summary: 1. We will never know about others in entirety so it's helpful to be mindful about that.   2. Shoutout to awesome people.  Ok, I might be onto something. Just this thought came to my mind, I haven't thought it out well so let's think together.  So, you know how our parents want the best for us? And also, how they were kids just like us? struggling to make sense of the world, and all those emotions related to self worth, finding your place in the world, finding peace and all those stuff? I think they maybe found it by doing a particular thing? like right now I am happy because I have started to take care of myself, have started to become more intentional and go to the gym and stuff. That's only way I know till now to you know feel good or you know find peace? So, like us, they sometime during their life found peace by thinking a certain way and doing certain things. Now the activity they sometimes force on you, might be the same thing that helped them or mayb...