Care

 Most of what I write, including this one is unstructured feelings. I’ve never spent more than a couple of seconds thinking what I will be writing next. That brings its own set of pros and cons. Now, I am not going to bore you with SWOT analysis here, but one of the cons I think is that I have yet to form a cohesive writing. (Btw arsenal won today 5-2 super happy) 

There is some beauty of a good piece of article, everything is balanced. The words are in perfect harmony with one another. Each building up space and story for the next. Like these words were made for each other. One’s position fits perfectly in the sentence, and as a part of the paragraph - further article. I don’t read a lot of books so I find it difficult to give writings justice. I should try to read more. 

I like the idea that one should be good at 3 things. Reading, Writing and Speaking. Each of which helps you in any area of your life. I am trying to focus on the second one. Writing. I read few of my previous articles. Although they are not the best, I see some serious potential in the way I write. I personally love reading them. I know sometimes I tend to exaggerate things a lot, there’s usually not a lot of content / story. It just feels like jumping into the madness of everyday thoughts. 

As you grow old, and see things or as you become experienced and learn things. You begin to develop a worldview. You can tell when someone is bullshitting, what one feels and how they are acting. You might not directly confront them but you make your observations and you know exactly what things are. Similarly, in wiring I am sure as I make progress & develop - coming back to these articles I’d feel that. What was I even writing.? Future me - at the very moment this - just this. 

Caring about the things that you do, giving them the space and time in your life focusing on small details seems to be so therapeutic. I have yet to experience that fully, but I’ve experienced bits and pieces of it. Video editing, writing used to be some of them for me. As well as studying weirdly. Didn’t always have to be academic. The feeling of leaning about different things, putting them together and understanding the whole picture - I want to experience this more. I will focus on the art of writing and storytelling this month. 

The reason why I didn’t like putting too much thought into something is I am afraid I will sound serious. (I don’t want to grow up being a serious person, a responsible one - yes. Serious, No ≠) But I don’t think that will be the case, the way I was thinking about it was a bit wrong. So, without any further ado - here’s to caring about writing. 

Some life updates: 

- Was considering moving to Canada but will stay in the US and probably do Masters while working. Canada is too expensive and you get paid almost half of what you get paid here. 

- I think I’ve earned enough money so I can retire when I go back home, so that gave me a peace of mind. It wouldn’t be an lavish life but good enough that I wont have to worry about things. But yk I think we’d invest it getting a new home but yk in next 2 years I’d again be able to do so. So, I don’t have to keep working until 50 or something if I don’t want to. But I’d need to leave the US. Thing whole thing needs a blog of its own because I need clarity myself. 

- I feel stuck in some way that I want to start something of my own but can’t due to legalities. If I had green card today I would quit my job, go back to Nepal for 6 months or so , start something of my own, and then come back to take the product to market. Or maybe change jobs, get into quant or something. Working for FAANG is quite a dream for a lot of people but it gets old too quick, maybe changing companies would help. 

- Rest is awesome, there’s no room to complain. Also Emily (let’s call her that, the girl I was talking to during the start of the year whom I had to stop talking with) has become the golden standard for me to compare against. Anyways, yeah just appreciative of her showing how me how easy love is, and should be. Whenever I see someone, like that’s the gold standard I find myself comparing against. 

Life is good I am going to be traveling a lot for the next 3 months honestly. I am going to Ohio, then Virginia, come back to Seattle, go to Florida, then to Texas and then to California. Non stop almost. 

Let’s see how the new RTO policy affects that and how much I’d be able to work from home.