Ok. You just found out that the person that you were in love with for almost 2 years is getting married. What do you do? What is the right reaction? What's the right feeling? What do you say to them? What should you not say to them? If you are wondering about all these things.
Welcome to The Tailor. You've come to the right place. Here we help people figure out answers to all these things. The only catch? You have to be willing to read. Read below, and gain answers to all these questions as our writer, the handsome charming man, tries to answer them. Sit tight. Lay back. And Most importantly send us your body measurements because we will soon be suitting you up.
Ok. This all started when I started talking with a friend of mine. I was in a pretty bad stage of my life. I was 18, and I was just diagnosed with "stupid teenage breakup .... I can't live without her" fever. No, I didn't just make that up. And Yes, that's a real disease. It was the time I was wrote this article. And this poem so you can imagine how fucked up I was. But then, I met someone. Online. So I sent her a message.
"My pretty friend, you inspireth me to write.
How I love the way you blush and the way you smileth.
Invading mine own mind day and through the night
Thee can beest mine friend, I gage t'd beest w'rthwhile.
Shouldst I compareth thee to the loving tune?
Thou art m're kind and empathetic
Than the sun who is't heats the patience peaches of June
And summ'rtime hast the dietetic.
How doth I loveth thee? alloweth me coounteth the ways
I loveth thee quite quaint eyes, and gracious heart
Bethinking of thy kind smileth fills mine own days
Coequal though we art miles apart
Anon I wilt sideth in thy dm, expecting a reply
Prithee apparition not me, I am not a valor lacking guy
"
I sent her this sonnet. Because I knew for a fact that she wouldn't like people messaging her wyd, sup? etc. She was a women of class and I knew I had to write her a sonnet to impress her. "Oh handsome charming sir, how incredibly handsome thou art. I am amaz'd by thy knowledge of sonnets but it's not that cute". She replied.
Ok, I might have exaggerated a little bit and I might not have been as kind and shown interest in her from the start but needless to say whatever happened, we became really good friends. And most important of them all she was there for me. She listened to me complain about millions of things and in fact gave some really nice advice. I felt understood, and I was able to be myself around her.
So, as you would expect. We both friendzoned each other and she got into a relationship. We weren't as close as we were after that. If there is one thing you should know about me is I try my best to stay away from peoples in these situations. Especially because at that time her boyfriend and I were friends, and he knew I was really good friends with her. So, I didn't want him to feel anything or you know...I just feel better to stay away from people in these situations. I just don't wanna be the problem to cause anything in anyone's relationships.
I don't remember much from that time except when we were all thinking about coming to the US. I loved that she was coming to the US too. She said she would be in Texas, and as much as I hate to admit it. I thought I would have a friend here so I applied to Texas. I mean I loved her as a person and thought we'd be close and I would have a friend here. But due to series of events, she didn't come. I was here. She was back home. So, again nothing happened. We were good friends. Didn't really talk much.
Ok, one thing that I have to admit to myself before I proceed is I liked her as a person. Like she was so fucking kind, empathetic, loving and cared for others. Which are all the things you would expect to be in a future partner. After my first breakup, I didn't really seek out for relationships or never found anyone interesting. When I used to think about getting married to someone, it was her. Or at least someone like her. I don't want to give an impression that I was in love with her for all these years, but I think I was in love with how she was as a person. Like all those traits she had.
Again, it's very crucial to know I didn't love her or anything much at this point. I think I had these thoughts or feelings because my friends would always say to me that we were meant for each other and stuff like that. So, moving on. At some point when I was in US we became really close. It was the time when I was not feeling well (physically and as a result of that mentally) During that time, I used to talk to her a lot. And I think we became very very close. Now I am not getting into the details but read this to find out what happened. Basically to summarize I told her I liked her and she told me she liked me as a friend. It's still difficult for me to write the word friend..oned 🥶🥶ykwim . Yeah...wouldn't want anyone to be there lol.
Anyways, as you expected this handsome charming man was able to escape the friend..one 🥶🥶(the dark mysterious place every guy fears) and we officially became together on March 8 of 2019. And then butterflies started flying above our heads and all those stuff. But then covid hits. She was supposed to graduate soon and apply and come here for masters soon but everything didn't go according to plan. She had a lots of ups and down during that time and I am go glad that I was able to be there for her. And certainly when I was down she was there for me. It's like this perfect ying and yang. But conflicts are inevitable. They happened. Relationships are hard, and not being in the same timezone and not being able to meet each others certainly compounds that. But we stuck together. I loved her, and that is all that mattered.But then yeah, things happened. We broke up. Then fixed things. Then broke up again. Then fixed things again. In retrospect, all those breaking up (the first 2 times, she told me she was the one to break up) were because of how much she loved me and she thought I wouldn't reciprocate? I think those came from ' He might not love me if I went full in, and I am afraid that things won't work out so it's easier for us to just end things'. I think that's what I understood from what she told me. How ironic.
Anyways, things got better. But sometime during covid and she had also decided that she no longer wanted to come to the US. The world got to know the stupidity of people in US. Also, there were news of US shootings around that time. I think she didn't like the vibe of US? She didn't want to come and settle here but I wanted to stay here. So if she wasn't coming here and I wasn't going to Germany. We possibly couldn't spend all our lives in LDR. We broke up. This was the 3rd time we broke up. And it was me this time.
I told her its best for us to break up. Maybe I should have convinced her to come or assured her that things would work out eventually but we should've stayed together. I feel like if there's anyone who builds a time machine it would be me lol.
Anyways, I thought I should give her some space. I told her to talk to me once she is ready. I didn't really hear from here in few weeks (maybe 3-4 weeks?). I messaged her on Instagram. Told her if we could talk and asked her to call me when she was free. Looks like she was really busy. She didn't text me for the next 3 weeks. So, I texted her again. I told her I wanted to make things work and think about this again. She told me it took her a while to move on and she doesn't love me anymore. She told me that she would stop messaging if I talked to her about relationship. I felt bad. And angry? I unfriended her and wrote an angry letter. And then a day later, I realized I overreacted and wrote another letter lol. Anyways, that was it. I left her alone hoping she would text me once she was ready to.
But before we proceed. Here's one thing I would tell everyone. Communicate. Like talk about your problems with other person. No matter how difficult the conversations are. Talk. Avoiding things is so fucking easy. Like she said she would stop replying if I tried to talk. I felt bad because we were in relationship for almost 2 years now, and she won't even talk to me about what's going on? If we were to follow that logic. I can simply breakup with someone after a while and not even talk to them about it. Like we didn't really talk about breakup. I wanted to. She just said she didn't want to talk. I felt like one of those girls that Barney Stinson just ghosts after a few days. That was really mature of her (btw this is sattire). Now I am not saying I was so fucking good and mature. I was immature too. I think I could've handled the situation a little better, but I was patient for almost 2 months, I told her to talk to me when she is ready. So, I think that anger at that moment stem from her unwillingness to communicate. So that made me angry... I guess... So I removed her from all my social media. It was a rush of emotions.
So for the past 2 months, I just had been thinking about things and reflecting. I thought I should atleast try and fix things or be friends again. The idea of just not talking to her because of what happened between us, where just things didn't work out because of different situations didn't make sense to me. She was still the friend I loved talking to. And she was still that kind and empathetic person that I admired. In my mind, I should at least talk to her. I was hurt from that experience and couldn't simply be in relationship with her again. But, I wanted to make it work. I was thinking we would take it super slow and resolve the issues that are between us. I had forgiven myself and her so I wanted to work through things. So, even though the butterflies were not there at the moment, the commitment was still there I guess. She was still the same person I fell in love with. So, I still wanted things to work out.
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