Never be this insecure my whole life.

Yeah as the title says, I've never really been an insecure person. But, few weeks ago I didn't attend an event because I thought I was too fucking fat and ugly. What? Where did that come from. As I am trying to work to get healthy, I am now having these thoughts.

I don't know man, it''s wild wild country. I guess everyone is insecure about some things to some level but I just realized that the reason why I didn't go was because I was insecure of my weight lol. And me, as I always say.. fuck what others say, but when it hurts, you really can't fuck em' I think.

It's just that's crazy. And you if are here reading this and saying to yourself that I am bitching ...fuck you! Fuck you 100 times honestly. I still don't care, but now it's hard to think about stuff. Is this what overthinking feels like? It sucks! Like there are so many things that I want to say but I can't really even say them in my own blogs because they are utterly stupid thoughts.

Man, one thing I would say is work on yourself, and I am working on it, but there have been very slow progress? I think. Anyways, I need to fucking not be fat and love myself again. Why the fuck is it so easy to love others even if they have few flaws but not yourself? Why do you get hung up on your flaws, and you know..not love yourself.

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