the trial is over

 

Summary:

1. I stopped using instagram. (future edit: I caved. Totally use it now) 

2. Why I will continue using TikTok in moderation. (Future Edit: don’t really use it that much) 

3. Forgetting the past and moving beyond self placed limitations. 

4. Little updates on personal stuff. Interview prep , career and health. 

I think I will now start using putting the summaries of the blog. That was when I am scrolling through these blogs, I know exactly what it contains and if it’s something that I want to read later on. The tags helps with that, but i want it to be more clear. This is like my daily journal and i want to be able to find stuff in them when I want. 

ok, so I had installed and started to use instagram and tiktok about a month ago? while it's been fun i have decided not to use it anymore. i won't deactivate it this time, but yeah. i found myself using it too often that i wanted to. also tiktok is addicting man, its not that i am watching random stuff i usually watch either calm videos, country living, travel, cooking, psychology, relationships, child psychology, parenting, communication etc. you know the deal liked videos are public watch em. i think they are nice content. 

i don't know if i talked about this but i came to know about attachment styles and how people with different attachment styles act. it was interesting, after i get done with this tech interviews thing i will start reading up on that. i am also planning to look into communication and how different people communicate in different ways. you know i used to say we are similar, i still think that, but we are also different. its like there are 2 roads you can take to get to the same location right? some people take one way, and some other one. 

it's the same with communication, dealing with anger, expressing needs and all those stuff. and this is tricky. another thing was about resentment. i had never thought of that. resentment creates problems over time. it might be the smallest of things, and if you decide to ignore it and not communicate the issues. it creates problems over time. Here’s the video on that. 

so yeah learning about all these types of things is great from tiktok which i why i still use it sometimes from my browser on laptop. but instagram .. i decided to not use it. the account is still there but i will not use it often. 

anyways, i had been posting cooking videos on instagram but i think i will stop doing that for now. i find it difficult to concentrate on two things. i had been ignoring my prep for interviews for a week or two. i will get back to it now. i made a lot of progress yesterday and will continue that. i now have a study buddy? she lives in uk, but we try to meet on sundays and try to discuss about stuff. its good to have someone like that. she makes me want to study because she's completed all these chapters and i am still behind and i need to catch up so we can discuss about that in the weekends. so that aspect helps. this week, we are doing a mock interview and discussing about sorting algorithms.

for the other things, i love working out now. i mean i look forward to it. i can also run properly now with little pain in my ankles, which is one of the reasons i like cardio. i find it difficult to just run in the natural environment but somehow running on treadmill is not as painful. the fastest i could do was a 12 minute mile. so pretty happy about it. 

anyways yeah, yesterday i had this thought that i will forget everything about me, like who i think i am what i have done, my past and everything and focus on present. because sometimes thinking about yourself, you feel like oh i am like this, i wont be able to do this and that. etc. 

if you know me, i wake up pretty late, and today morning i woke up around 7 and my mind was like, you know you will end up sleeping till 8 either way (today if not tomorrow) so why bother? so i ended up sleeping lol. so yeah i need to work on that. just look at the things in present and not limit myself by thinking about how i have acted in the past. our brain loves predictability and order so need to be more mindful about these things. 

i think that's the new update. i have been looking for other jobs, but man i love this job. it's so flexible and i can be here. the only thing that's bad is that they don't sponser visas. so i need to find a job that does by the end of this year. 

also i noticed i have a cavity in my teeth, and it hurts when i eat. i thought it was just my wisdom teeth, but i have a cavity in my wisdom teeth. i need to get this fixed. 

Also man, I love YouTube and technology, here I am sitting in my desk looking into the life of a truck driver in India. I would rather watch this instead of people with shit ton of money making vlogs. stuff like these just show how people think what hey care about in various parts of the world and its cool. 

Song of the day: crimson and clover 

Video of the day : our  conception of love is messed up  (PLEEEASE WATCH IT. I love it.)

Your very own, 

Handsome Charming Man.