Ok, just a thought. I am going to start writing blogs for my kids. Like I'll talk to them, we'd be super friendly and cool, and ask them about their day how they are feeling and all sorts of stuff and write a blog summarizing everything everyday. And once they get to the point where they can write. I'll ask them to maintain journal.
Why you ask? Oh hoo hoo! Now that's the genius part. They'll know everything about their childhood and life. So often we lie to ourselves, we change the thoughts, or you know we are always not right about the memories. But if we do have them recorded somewhere you'll know that the way you thought about things are different. Idk if this makes sense.
But, when the kids grow up and have some issues, they can just look at those notes they had from childhood. We'd also tag them. So, fuck dude. That's so awesome. Imagine just having every thoughts you had into some kind of notes. Which is kinda what I am doing at the moment. I think I am filtering some of them but I do have prominent thoughts written here except for the NSFW of course lol.
Anyways, this should be exciting and probably a lot of the parents or even kids are doing this right now. But just realized this. You know, I had a blog where I wrote letters to motu, but then it ended and basically I was just reading the letters so much and missed her so I deleted that. Hopefully, the kids don't delete sad part of their lives, and I will also try not to delete anything from the blogs that I have written so far.
But this actually is cool.
So, regarding life updates. I did pretty well this week. I finished watching the major questions in the blind 75 list for interviews. I did nothing else except that. I made some progress in work and the whole week was just meh. I was feeling bad around tuesday but have felt better since.
also, I just have been using clubhouse a little too much. I had some nice conversations with Lily. She is kinda like my sister's age, actually lower. 18. But seemed very matured for her age. I honestly don't think I thought that way she did when I was 18.
Also, there are two guys Sora and Sandy, both of them sing really well. I wish I was able to sing like that. But, I do intend on learning guitar and singing. I should be a pretty good singer if I just try few minutes a day in few years.
Anyways, moving back to clubhouse. I think that is it. Also, also wait I forgot to tell the most exciting part. There's this girl summer, who lives in guess where.. fucking Seattle. And I've always wanted to go to seattle. Like I am in love with this place. I have videos saved in instagram and tiktok about this place. And she has agreed to show me around when I am there. Which is so so so so fucking cool. It's like the universe suddenly started listening to me.
Anyways (again) , I saw my tarot readings and it's telling me go with the flow, so regarding the job, and moving to Florida and any new changes, I think I will just go with the flow. And it's nice. Going with the flow is actually my new anthem for living.
So, tomorrow and for majority of next week I just plan to study for the interview, and maybe listen to Sora and Sandy sing. Anyways, I am watching the Adam's Project right now and thought for this genius idea came where .. Ok.. let me describe it more properly.
There's a scene where future ryan reynolds hates his dad, and the present kid (who is 12) says that he actually doesn't hate his dad for not being there for him like playing and stuff, but for dying. Ryan renolds (the old one) believed that his dad only prioritized work and not him, but in truth his dad was there for him. But the future Ryan just made himself believe that because it was hard for him to think that he hated his dad for dying.. Does that make sense?
I think we do this wayy too many times. Like now I think motu was trying to hate me and think about the relationship we had in a certain way to move on. And I think she already had. But.. it wasn't bad. Like I used to think that it was bad sometimes, but as I look back on the memories and my personal diaries. It really wasn't. She's amazing and I was kinda amazing,(and handsome and charming) but it just wasn't the right time. Maybe it was, but she gave up too quick. (Which seems to have worked out well). But still, that's not something you do right? Like again, she decided to get married with this guy in few months after we break up. Like that's still fucking up with my mind... Anyways, too much thoughts. You know, so like I don't know where I am getting with this, but things might not be as bad as you remember them to be. Think again. (again this varies, but oh well..)
Also quick plug I loved his dialogue. And I can relate to it lol "It's easier to be angry than it is to be sad" I kinda like when I am sad instead of angry because I never want to be angry towards motu. I'd rather be sad, and feel what I truly feel than to have this sense of "moving on" by being angry and grumpy towards her and the whole situation or just love in general. So, here's to us fully grieving to the parting of ways with a friend 🍻 I will take my time, and patch up little tiny spaces in my heart hahahah . (Future me here: ok what was that man ? "Tiny spaces in my heart"🤮? ? )
Also another update:
Please watch The Adam's Project.
- Until Next Time
Handsome Charming Man.
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