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  Rewatching 500 days of summer. I love this movie man. Can't recommend this enough to people. This movie, the plot , the scenes, the way that the guy thinks about love, it hits so close to home.  Just finished watching it again. Anyways, it's been a good day so far. It's almost 4 now. We are planning to have kheer today, which I am excited about. It's a little hot today, and I am sweating. I still have my morning coffee besides me lol. I have been learning to make latte art and today, I did manage to make the froth a bit better. You know ,the art is completely dependent on how to stem your milk, if it has too many bubbles then, its not that good. You want it exactly right where there's no too much froth and no bubbles.  I don't like drinking too much coffee, but I love making coffee. So, I am planning to practice making coffee by making them for my brother and sisters. If only I could wake up early man. Not if only, but will try to wake up early. It's like ...

  I don't know what to say this. But wait. Why is it that you feel so whole when you know there's someone loving you, and why is it so hard to find that sense of wholeness by just yourself.

Mostly I have problems being in a routine.It helps sometimes, but for the most part it isn't that helpful. I guess. But having a structure is beneficial. It's just that most of the time I just don't act on it. Because I feel like I won't be sticking long term with this. And also I feel like there will eventually be stuff that will derail me off of this planned time, causing me to fail this. And that makes me , things are outside my control and if I fail, it will seem like my fault and I don't want to have that. No-one will believe if I say that it wasn't my fault. I am remembering how even though it wasn't my fault, i would kinda get blamed for it as a child and I felt helpless. Like no-one understood that. So, it's better for me to just not stick to that and fail than to stick to it, and fail because of some external conditions. --> this doesn't make sense.  But yk .. it kinda does. Is this why I have not been sticking to a task for so long. I do...