Let's talk

What do I want out of life. Let's try to answer this one. Right here, right now. I am not walking away unless I find something. Ok. What do I want? What would my ideal self be like.  The earliest memory that I have is me wanting to become an actor. I used to see actors sometimes as old people, young college kids, middle age people, and used to be very confused about their age. I wanted to be like them, always young? idk maybe have different experiences and not be tied to one thing. Now, I don't want to become an actor, I don't think I do. The closest thing to that would be becoming an YouTuber or Tiktoker. And acting is not the only reason why. I used to have fun making videos (I made maybe 5, or 6) but I had a lot of fun doing that. The whole process of coming up with stories, editing, filming and all those things were fun. I still want to be able to do that. But what do I make videos about? And why do I want to make videos? Maybe I want to feel loved? Idk, I haven't r...